“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”
― Pema Chodron
Someone asked me an excellent question this week. (I love a good question.)
The question was: What are you for? I had been sharing all that I was against in a particular context. The things that worry and annoy me. The things that I push against and wish were different. I had a lot to say. The question, but what are you for, did invite me to pause.
The thing is, in the context that we were talking about, I know what I’m for. The energy palpably shifted as I shared what I am FOR. I shared my convictions, beliefs, hopes, and possibilities with excitement and joy.
The invitation to stop pushing against and embracing what I am for was just the invitation I needed. Maybe it’s an invitation you need too?
As I’ve considered my FOR invitation, I’ve realized that for and against are really questions of energy. When I think about my FOR, there is a lightness. There is flow, bounce, and a sense of positiveness. To be FOR is subversive in a culture that thrives on against.
I realized this week that I want to be known for being FOR rather than being against.
I want to fill the space with FOR energy rather than against energy.
I want my FOR to invite others to consider the offerings and opportunities FOR them.
What are you FOR?
I really like the practice of Tonglen. I first read about it in a book by Pema Chödrön (When Things Fall Apart.) It feels like it’s something to do when the problems or challenges of the world seem too big. Instead of trying to explain it on my own, I found her instructions for Tonglen. It’s a small practice but it’s a deep practice.
Tonglen:
Tonglen practice, also known as “taking and sending,” reverses our usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. In tonglen practice, we visualize taking in the pain of others with every in-breath and sending out whatever will benefit them on the out-breath. In the process, we become liberated from age-old patterns of selfishness. We begin to feel love for both ourselves and others; we begin to take care of ourselves and others.
Tonglen awakens our compassion and introduces us to a far bigger view of reality. It introduces us to the unlimited spaciousness of shunyata (emptiness). By doing the practice, we begin to connect with the open dimension of our being.
Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or have died, or those who are in pain of any kind. It can be done as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot at any time. If we are out walking and we see someone in pain, we can breathe in that person’s pain and send out relief to them.
Pema Chödrön
Read more about Tonglen here:
Photo by Braedon McLeod on Unsplash
ideas.poems.quotes.songs that sparkled for me this week.
(I try and pay attention to words or phrases that stand out to me in my reading and listening. There is a spiritual practice called Florliledgium that is collecting short, interesting pieces {words that “sparkle” up} and putting them together. This is kind of like that. Watching for things that sparkle. Gathering them and seeing how they work together and what message, mantra, or new idea might arise.)
A Practice:
Read slowly.
Notice if a word or phrase stands out to you.
How do the words make you feel?
Is there an invitation?
“You do not always have to be producing, creating, harvesting. Learn to be idle. Learn to rest.”
― Joyce Rupp, The Circle Of Life: The Heart’s Journey Through The Seasons
“Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic self-hood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be. As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks--we will also find our path of authentic service in the world.”
― Parker Palmer
“Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.”
― David Whyte, The House of Belonging
One more thing…
Another smaller and deeper practice that I love is Haiku. Michael, Davin and I had our Zoom Haiku chat this week. We’ve been meeting for close to two years now, we started recording our calls 11 months ago. If you want to listen in to our Haiku discussion (which is really so much more) You can listen here: