The Question of Thriving
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
― Maya Angelou
My family is just a few weeks away from summer vacation. We are ready for the change of pace that is summer. Our summer calendar is already fully booked. Between golf tournaments, lessons, travel for said tournaments, dance classes, dance conditioning classes, art classes, and doctor’s appointments to prepare for the next school year. It’s a lot of moving pieces. I think that’s why it felt right when I read this question from my writing archives. What do I need to thrive over the next three months of summer? Summer is wonderful. I love having my kids around. I love the longer days with early morning hikes and evenings listening to the birds end their days. I love watching my kids thrive in the places and spaces that bring them joy.
What do I need to thrive? What do you need to thrive?
Every human needs different things to thrive. A one-size-fits-all solution (for anything) never seems to work, as well as the one promoting it would have us believe. What you need to thrive could be precisely the opposite of what I need to thrive.
The question becomes, do you know what you need to thrive? Let’s back up one step more; what does thrive mean to you? It’s all about the definition.
I like the word thrive. It seems slightly gentler than “live your best life” or “excellence.” Thrive is to flourish, prosper or bloom. Thrive is a verb; it is an action, not a description. Flourish or bloom implies “where you are” Dandelions and thistles bloom in between sidewalk cracks. They are flourishing and thriving right where they are. They take the raw elements, a little dirt, under a layer of cement and thrive.
With the picture of a stubborn dandelion or purple thistle in your mind: what do YOU need to thrive?
“The cactus thrives in the desert while the fern thrives in the wetland.
The fool will try to plant them in the same flower box.”
Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
Ferns and cacti are both plants that need wildly different things to thrive.
Thriving (for plants and for us) looks different in different seasons. There are times when the cactus needs more water and seasons when it needs less. There is a rhythm to the year. I’m asking myself what elements I need to thrive in the season I’m entering right now (a busier-than-busy summer)
What I love about this question is there is no prescription. There is only an invitation.
Do I need more sleep? Less sleep? A little bit of fresh air and a short walk?
Do I need more social time? Less social time?
Do I need to read more books, listen to more podcasts, or find more silence?
Do I need more fiber or more ice cream?
The question of thriving is also a question outside of judgment. There is no judgment for the bright, bold, persistent dandelion that stands tall on the sidewalk, the cacti that thrive in dry, sandy soil, or the fern that loves damp, wet places. Each plant’s elements for thriving are entirely different, and it’s okay.
“Take a look at the plants. They come together and thrive peacefully in the garden or park. They lean on each other without trying to outdo one another. They serve as a sign that we can see beyond our differences and embrace each other in love while allowing our uniqueness to add color to our world. If plants can live in harmony and show their beauty to the world, we as humans can do much more.”
Kemi Sogunle
A Blessing for Thriving:
Go gently and thoughtfully through your days, awake and aware of your thriving. The world needs you to thrive. To send your roots down, find the nutrients, additives, sunlight, and sleep that create your best bloom. May you know the answer to the questions, what do you need to thrive, and may you have the courage and the power to create and ask for what you need.
Is there one thing that popped into your mind when you read this question?
Can you ensure you have the elements that help you thrive?
Poetry Unbound: 50 Poems to Open Your World by Pádraig Ó Tuama
This book is lovely in all forms. I ended up listening to it. I wanted Pádraig Ó Tuama’s calming Irish voice in my ear, and I’m glad I did. He reads each poem, then writes his reflections and thoughts. I learned how to read poetry. How to look for patterns-are their lots of words that start with P, is there a meaning there? I learned about different forms of poetry and why poets might have chosen a certain form for their words.
Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes by Elizabeth Lesser
I loved this book, and I hated it. The thesis of Elizabeth’s book is: what if women were the storytellers? Would Eve’s story be different if Eve told the story than with Adam as the prominent voice? Would the Greek Myth of Cassandra share a different truth if she told her story? (Lesser answers yes, and it is worth reading the book to understand why.) I loved this because it invited me to think outside the box, and I hated it because it made me sad at how the lack of the feminine voice has shaped culture. I have been noticing and considering, for several months, how war metaphors are a part of our shared cultural vernacular. (“Slay the day.” “crush them,” “in the line of fire.”) I’m not the only one; Lesser spends much time teasing out how our words shape us. (Another great reason to read her book.) This book is challenging, but I’m glad I read it.
I’m sharing a few quotes from Cassandra Speaks. I’m wrestling with the entire book. So much to consider, so much to learn from and about. Here are just a few quotes from the book. See if a word, phrase, or idea stands out to you. Walk with it this week. Let the words disturb you, challenge you and guide you.
“The world would have been different - and better - if women had had an equal say in the development of literature, medicine, chemistry, physics, peace and economics. Better, not because women are better, but because they are more than half of humanity, representing more than half of what it means to be human.”
― Elizabeth Lesser, Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes
“That's why we tell the stories. To ease the anxiety of being soft-skinned mortals. To inspire the soul to fathom eternity. To give order to what feels out of control. To guide, to blame, to warn, to shame. To make some kind of sense out of why people do what they do, why things happen the way they happen, and how we might all meet each other and daily life with less turmoil and more stability. That's why we cling to the old stories.”
― Elizabeth Lesser, Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes
“What if our myths and teaching tales had purposely led humanity to believe that it was the ultimate sign of strength to nurture and love? What if the urge to care for children and nature and each other had been chosen as the most important tasks of any society? What if care as opposed to conquest had been the marker of virility? What if resources were granted to the people most skilled at peace making, healing, creating and opposed to those with brute strength and a pension for violence?”
― Elizabeth Lesser, Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes
“The basic belief of feminism is not that women are right and men are wrong; It is merely that women are people and therefore their voices matter, their values matter and their stories matter. It's time for women to tell their versions of what it means to be fully human. It is time for men to respect those insights and it is time for all of us to integrate them into a new story of power.”
― Elizabeth Lesser, Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes
